Finding Time to Enjoy Yourself

After having a child, you will suddenly find yourself without a lot of free time, and a lot of your energy being put into your child and your family. As you work to get back to a somewhat normal schedule and life over the first months of your child’s life, you will likely find that you have changed both in your outlook on life and what motivates you. Finding time for yourself is critical over this time.

A child will consume your life for the first 5 years of their life unlike anything else you will have experienced before. Even after they turn 5 and start school, you’ll still have a lot of time to work on being with them. If you’re working, then 5 is simply a time when they start going to school, but doesn’t really free up any of your time. Ultimately, you’re still just as busy and will be until they’re into their later teenage years.

It’s important to find ways to enjoy yourself alone, and with your partner, while your child is still little. If you don’t, you’ll often find yourself in a depressed state since you simply don’t know what to do to have fun. Sure, you’re not going to be able to go out and party every night like you may have done before having a child, but you should still find time everyday to enjoy yourself a little bit.

Don’t neglect your mental health simply because you have a child. It’s too common among parents to be so focused on being the best parent they can be that they forget about themselves. It’s alright to tell your child that you need a break every now and then, and to get off of your feet. It’s okay if the house isn’t perfect or if your child has to play by themselves for a few minutes - it will be fine.

Find things that you enjoy doing on your own. While we promote things such as reading and fitness a lot, it doesn’t have to be one of those. Perhaps you enjoy making crafts or you like playing video games. It could be that you really enjoy writing, or that you find joy in learning more about history. Find something that you enjoy that can be done for 15-20 minutes and start doing it regularly.

Beyond finding things you can do everyday, find things that you and your partner enjoy doing and find time every single month to do them. It could be as simple as watching a movie together, or it could be playing games together in the evening. Try to get out of the house and away from your kid for an extended period of time at least 4 times per year. Getting out of the house can really help to clear your mind.

Obviously, when leaving the house, find someone you trust to watch your child. While this may be a bit tougher in the very early months of having a new baby, try to get out as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Clearing your mind is much easier when you’re away from your child and able to think about life. It also will simply allow you to enjoy yourself in a slightly different way then with just a few minutes at home.

Find ways to enjoy being by yourself and doing the things you love. As your child grows older and ultimately moves away, you’ll find that your mental health is much better if you’re focusing on yourself throughout their life.