Both Parents In This Together

Being a parent is hard. Getting your child to listen to what you are telling them, and having them follow directions can be extremely difficult at times. Kids don’t like to listen to their parents a lot of times, especially when it means that they don’t get to have as much fun in the moment. They would rather do the things that make them happy right now. Having your partner, the child’s other parent, contradict what you are trying to teach your child can lead to major disagreements. 

Being a parent while telling your child to do the exact opposite of their other parent is one of the most frustrating parts of parenting. For example, you tell your child to sit down and finish their dinner because they keep getting up to play. The other parent however tells them to go and play and then come back and finish when they’re ready. This is just one small example of something that may play out in your household and as a parent, it’s frustrating.

Disagreements like this are going to happen every single day when there are two parents in a household. You grew up differently, and what you think is right and not right for raising kids will be different. Just because you disagree with your partner on how to raise your child though, doesn’t mean that you’re doing parenting wrong or that they’re doing parenting wrong. As long as you’re working together to figure out what works best for both of you, then you’re doing it right.

If you’re constantly arguing about every decision that you disagree with the other parent on, and you’re both unwilling to compromise, then you need to step back and figure out how you can better support each other. It’s possible that you may need a professional to step in and help - there are times where the issues are more deeply rooted that you can’t simply or easily solve them yourselves. As a parent, you need to work together with the other parent to be on the same page when raising your child.

That is not to say that there won’t be disagreements and that there won’t be times where a longer and deeper discussion won’t be necessary. You need to be willing to compromise at times, as does the other parent. You’re not going to do everything the way you want to do it all of the time. Your kids may go to bed later than you’d like, or they may eat more sweets than you want, or they may watch more TV than you want. That is part of parenting in a household where there are two parents - you won’t always get your way.

You should expect both yourself and your partner to uphold the agreements that you come to though - undermining the other parent and breaking their trust makes parenting much more difficult for everyone. It also places a seed of mistrust in your child - they may not recognize it, but subconsciously they now know that one of their parents will give them what they want even though the parent is saying that they won’t. Do not go behind the other parents back to make your child happy. Be open and honest with your decision and actions - the consequences will be less severe.

Parenting with another person is hard. You will often disagree on how to raise your child. Work together with them to compromise on what is best. Just because you were raised a certain way doesn’t mean it’s absolutely right - the same goes for your partner as well. Parenting requires both parents to come to agreements on things they don’t agree on. Do your best to see things from another perspective, and be in it together with the other parent.