Don’t Hit

Many people grew up in homes where their parents hit them with their hand or with a belt when they did not follow the rules. This was a very common way to punish children before the 2000s, but it has carried on for many parents into these days. There are lots of parents out there that believe that hitting a child (whether a spank or more) is the best way to punish or teach your child when they are in the wrong.

It’s time to stop this practice as the only thing it really does is teach your child to fear you and not want to get hurt. Your child isn’t going to start following the rules because they believe in them or they want to change. They may stop their invalid behavior because you are hitting them, but they’ll have a long and deep scar from that hitting that they’ll remember for the rest of their life.

Your child most definitely will not respect you, and they’re not going to want to do what you tell them to. They’ll simply be scared of you, and anytime they do something wrong, they’ll be scared. While you may sit and think that’s what you want, it’s actually not. Your child being scared isn’t the goal you’re trying to teach them. You want your child to understand why there are rules and boundaries.

Spanking seems harmless to many parents, but it’s extremely damaging to your child mentally. They will not be as likely to be able to put together the reasons that they’re being told to do certain things - why am I not supposed to swear or why can’t I get into Mom’s makeup? If they’re punished via a slap or spank, they’ll only remember that they got hit and won’t be learning why you have rules.

In this day and age, hitting can often lead to child abuse and can actually be considered child abuse. You shouldn’t be using it as punishment for children. The best way for a child to learn something is not by hitting but rather by losing privileges that are tied to their actions in some way. If they are swearing, you may choose to take away time spent with friends who are influencing them to swear.

Other ways to punish your child are by adding additional jobs or responsibilities from their actions. Did they spill Mom’s makeup all over the floor? Perhaps they have to spend the next several weeks cleaning different parts of the home, or perhaps they need to work to earn the money to replace those items. Teach them that the makeup isn’t free and it doesn’t clean itself - that’s the lesson in this scenario.

It’s important that you explain to your child why they are being punished. When you resort to hitting, your child drowns those words out. They know that the pain is coming and they will forget most anything you tell them. They’ll be upset and angry (probably like you are as you prepare to spank them) and it will take all logic and reasoning out of the situation. Hitting is a great way to help your child miss the lesson of the punishment.

Don’t hit your child. Choose more effective punishment methods with your child so that they learn the actual lesson you want them to learn.