It’s Okay to Fail

You are not a perfect parent. You are not a perfect human. You will make mistakes. You will not always achieve what you set out to do from the start. You will have bumps along the way and you will have to reassess how you handle situations. You are going to learn as you go along, and you are going to have to pivot. That is not bad, it is simply part of life. It is okay to fail in life as long as you do not let it keep you down.

When you become a parent, you’re learning to do things that you’ve never done before. Sure, you were a child at one point, and parts of parenting may feel natural, but many parts of parenting are completely different and new for you. They’re things that you’ve never really encountered outside of parenting. You must learn how to be a parent, and it will mean that there are times you do things wrong.

If you set out to potty train your child and you don’t make it happen from the first time, you’re going to have to figure out how to make it happen. Guess what? Most parents fail at potty training their child from the first time around. That doesn’t mean that you’re a bad parent, it just means that you’re learning that it’s not always easy to potty train a child. You step back, make a new plan, and try again.

Don’t let other people tell you that you’re a bad parent. At the very least, you shouldn’t let it get you down. Sure, you should listen and determine if there are ways that you can actually become a better parent, but if someone tells you that you’re a bad parent because you failed at something, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. You need to learn from your failures and not fail in the future, but that’s part of parenting.

Too often, we set a standard for ourselves and for others that is simply too high. We expect perfection when in reality perfection is never going to happen. You need to make sure that you’re setting realistic expectations for yourself and striving to meet those expectations. You should assess along the way how you’re doing and if you need to change your goal, then that’s totally acceptable.

As a parent, you don’t fully control the outcome of some of your goals as well. Whether it be potty training, learning to read, or dealing with emotions, your child has a large say in how they do those things as well. You can do things exactly right (according to the book) and you can still fail. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, but it also means that you should not give up. Figure out how to make it happen.

You may spend a lot of time and energy trying to attain your goals - those who ultimately succeed do exactly this. Learning from your failures, and continuing to try to find ways to work around those failures is what will make you successful and strong. If you want to succeed, you’re going to have to fail. And you’re going to have to learn how to overcome those failures as well - it’s the only way to succeed.

It’s okay to fail. Figure out how to overcome those failures and become a stronger person and parent from it.