Supporting Your Pregnant Wife

A new baby is on the way and will be here soon. While you can see this reality playing out in front of you, you don’t actually feel it the same way that your wife does. You slept through the night last night - she was woken up several times with another human kicking and poking her in uncomfortable places. You walked up the stairs to grab something and ran back downstairs without issue. Your wife had to take several breaks to make it the same distance. Help her out where she needs.

Not every woman will be the same in their needs. Every pregnancy is different and the way the body reacts is different. Your wife may have no issue with her energy and be able to walk and do things without issue. Or she may struggle to walk up the stairs. There is no way to say for sure how her body will respond until she has gone through it before. You’ll be learning on the fly what it involves.

Just because you’re not physically feeling the pregnancy pain doesn’t mean you’re free and clear. Your job is to support her in every way that she would like you to. Similar to how the body reacts, each woman is different in terms of what help they want. Some women are more independent than others and will not want you to help as much - that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be ready to help, but you also don’t want to make her feel that she can’t do anything on her own. Be ready and willing to support as she desires.

There are a lot of ways that you can support your wife, and you don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Trying to tout what a great husband and helper you are is selfish - maybe next time you can carry the baby so she can help out and boast about how great of a helper she is. Put yourself in her place and have a bit of empathy for what it would be like in her position. Help out in every way you can and don’t act like you’re a hero for it.

Clean the house, make meals, and let your wife rest as needed. These are skills that you should already have, and if they’re not then it’s time to learn. Cleaning the house is a lot of work, especially when you have an extra 30 pounds. Clean the house the best you can - you may not be perfect at it, but clean the same things she does. Do so without asking as well. Clean the toilet and bathroom without her asking for it.

Cook the meals that she asks for. Making food can be a lot of fun, and doesn’t really require any special skills other than being able to follow some basic instructions. Are you going to be a chef? Probably not, but being able to season some chicken and put it in the oven doesn’t really require a lot of work. Find meals that you both like that you can easily make and enjoy. You’ll likely be making plenty of meals after the baby comes as well, so get used to it now.

Go to the grocery store by yourself if she isn’t up to it. Massage her feet. Help her get up in the morning. Get up from the couch to get her more water or another snack. Let her spend as much time off her feet as she wants - walking with the extra and temporary weight will really make you not want to get up. As the pregnancy nears the end, you’ll be up and down more and more to help her.

Be selfless and have empathy. Your life is easy compared to what she’s going through. You aren’t putting on a bunch of extra weight (well, you don’t have to), and you’re not being kept up all night by a large bump that’s on the front of your body. You’ve got it easy compared to what she’s experiencing. It’s a lot of work to help and support your wife - it will require even more work when the baby comes so this is just getting you ready.

Support your wife as much as she wants in helping her get through being pregnant. It’s often extremely hard, so all the help you give makes it much easier on her and shows you really are ready for the chance to be a father.