This May be the Last Time

As your child grows older, every day that passes is another day that you can’t get back. There are parts of parenting that you may not like (i.e. changing diapers), but there are parts of parenting that make parenting worth it. You may really want to get through the parts of parenting that you dislike, but as you do that you start to say goodbye to many of the things that make parenting worth it.

Parenting ends up being a lot of work, but each passing day is a string of goodbyes that you simply do not realize at the time are goodbyes. Your child reaches up and hugs you and says they love you unprompted; they put their head on your shoulder and snuggle while watching TV together; the last time you bathe them; the last time they hold your hand while out and about; the last time they ask you to check under the bed for the monster.

Even things that frustrate you may be things that you miss later. As much as you dislike changing diapers, you may miss having your child come and tell you they need a new diaper on. You may miss feeding your child their food, or cleaning up the mess they made on the floor after trying to stuff their face. Even if you dislike things, it is very likely that you will find yourself missing some of those things later.

When you’re living the life of a parent day to day, you simply don’t realize that these moments may never happen again. You are trying to survive the craziness of parenting and hoping you can come up for some air. You should do everything you can to try to cherish the moments that you enjoy from parenting each day. You simply never know if this may be the last time that you experience this moment with your child.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent every single day to make the most of the time that you have with your child. Ultimately, all parents are learning on the job and you’re going to make mistakes. What really matters is that you’re trying the very best you can, and that you’re working on overcoming your shortcomings. You accidentally lost your temper today, make it better tomorrow. You yelled at your child, don’t do it next time. Get better each day.

None of this is meant to dismiss the reality that some days of parenting are awful. They do happen - raising kids really isn’t easy. Parenting isn’t easy. Mistakes will always be made. Build your life around your child though - protect and love them and work to teach them so that they can build a quality life for themselves. Without warning it seems, your child is not going to need you any longer. You’ll still be in parenting mode, but no child to actually parent.

Ultimately, you will have to go through a tough parenting goodbye to your child. You want them to be strong and self-sufficient adults, but you want them to love you and need you. You’re going to have to work through the reality that your child is no longer a child but an adult. You still need to be available to them, but not on a constant and daily basis.

Enjoy every moment of parenthood that you can. Those sweet moments with your child may be the last that you experience with them, and you simply never know if that’s the case.