Fathers Can Be Great

Being a father is an extremely important responsibility. In reality, being a parent is an important responsibility, father or mother. Having two loving and caring adults goes a long way in helping a child feel safe at home. As a follow-up to the article we previously wrote about gender equality in kids, I wanted to look at how fathers are perceived in our society. 

Gender stereotypes are still perpetuated in our society today because of how  people perceive that parents should be involved in their kids' life as they grow up. All too often, fathers hear how they’re “babysitting” the kids, or how it’s surprising that the woman trusts her husband to spend time with the kids. Fathers can be equally great parents to mothers, even if they do it differently than mothers. Just by speaking this way about a father will train children to think that fathers are worse parents.

Not all fathers sit by the sidelines, and do nothing. While the percentage of fathers that don’t take pride in their family and participate may be higher than that of women, it doesn’t mean that all men are that way. By putting all men into that category, you show your prejudice against men in general.

As men, we need to make sure that we’re taking care of our families, participating in our kids' lives, and making sure they know that we love them. Even if the world is saying that fathers aren’t all great people, that doesn’t mean that we have to listen. Being a great father to your family is what’s important. By continuing to show that we are great, the world will be able to more easily change its view of fathers in the family.

Do it your way

Men and women are different in their approaches to parenting. But it doesn’t have to be that different if we don’t make it that way. Every family must figure out which roles the adults fill. And each adult must be ready to fill in for all of the other roles. Being a successful family doesn’t mean that one person always takes on certain responsibilities and the other is free from them - you work together as a team to make it happen.

For example, the father in the home doesn’t have to be the one that goes to work everyday while the woman stays home. The exact opposite is completely fine and normal - what’s important is that the family is being provided for. It doesn’t matter who is working outside of the home and who is with the kids. (Note, I’m focusing this article on fathers, and so generally that means a husband - wife relationship. However, the same applies to same-sex households with kids as well).

Changing diapers should be done by both parents. Making dinner, giving hugs, reading books, feeding kids, playing with the kids, watching the kids while they play alone, taking them to the playground or other activities, and everything else that parents do should be a shared responsibility. Yes, your wife (the mother) may do some of these things more often than you (or vice versa), but that shouldn’t be determined by the gender of the parent, but rather by how comfortable and able you are to do each thing. If you’re at work all day, you’ll have less time to do some of these things - that’s different than just completely refusing to do them.

Conclusion

Having kids means that you’re a parent. Whether you’re male or female shouldn’t make any difference in what responsibilities you take on as a child's parent. Your job is to take care of them, and love them. Don’t put your gender biases on your children by thinking that certain genders only take on certain responsibilities in the family. It hurts both you and your children.