Forcing Kids to Eat

Getting kids to eat the food you put in front of them can be an extremely frustrating experience for many parents. Kids will love a food one week, and then hate it the next week. There is some food that they will eat every single day for a few weeks, and then suddenly they’ll no longer want it and later completely refuse to eat it. Trying to figure out what kids will and will not eat on any given day can be basically impossible sometimes.

Perhaps the most frustrating part about feeding your child is that they’ll ask for a certain food, and then say they don’t want it. They’ll ask for something else (likely something tasty that isn’t really that great for them). You are now stuck in a place of deciding what to do. Your child hasn’t eaten anything for multiple hours, and you don’t want them to be starving, but you also don’t want to give them whatever you want. What should you do?

Your child will not starve themselves when they’re still young (they may at an older age, but this would be due to an eating disorder and not because they refuse the food completely). They will ultimately eat food if they’re hungry. With this knowledge in mind, you shouldn’t give into your child to give them whatever food they want whenever they want. Don’t let your child dictate their own diet - you are the parent.

If you’ve made a meal, you should expect that your child will eat it. Yes, you should force your child to eat the food that you’ve prepared and not give them something else. However, if they choose to not eat it, let them leave it and not eat at all. You’re not going to force them to actually eat the food, but you’re not going to give them another option. If they are hungry, they will ultimately eat it. Otherwise, they can eat at the next meal.

If your child chooses not to eat the meal, you should not provide a snack to them in an hour. If they ask for a snack, they can be provided with the meal that they just skipped and eat it if they’re hungry. Otherwise, they will skip the meal completely until the next meal. Don’t give them snacks in between the meals. If they know they’re getting snacks anyways, it’s very easy for them to not eat the food you’re giving them.

While you should make your child eat what you’re eating for the meal, you shouldn’t force them to finish the food on their plate. Kids will sometimes be more hungry than at other times. While it used to be common that a kid would be expected to clear their plate, that’s a good way to put more food in your child than they need. Let them eat as much or as little of the food on their plate as they want. If they barely touch any of it, then save it for them to eat later if they do come back hungry in an hour.

Ideally, you are providing your child with a few choices at meal times what they want to eat. No, you’re not preparing two completely separate meals, but you have more than one food item as part of your meal. For example, you have sandwiches where they can choose what toppings go on top, or you have either carrots or green beans on the side of the meal. Letting them have a small choice can often be beneficial in getting them to choose healthy foods.

Feeding a kid can be frustrating sometimes. Stick to making them eat what you’ve prepared or to go hungry until the next meal. Kids will ultimately eat the food, and many times they’ll find that it’s not as bad as they thought. Stay strong - it’s a tough battle sometimes.