Let Kids Quit

This is a companion piece to the article about not letting kids quit. Sometimes, it is completely acceptable to quit and not do something. There are definitely times that you should quit doing something which is not good for you or that is negatively affecting your mental or physical health. Help your child recognize these situations and let them quit. This may be as hard for you as it is for them to do.

Quitting can sometimes be extremely liberating and allow you or your child to flourish. Not everything needs to be done forever, and there are times where continuing to do something is actually a hindrance more than it is helping. Stepping back and recognizing these situations will go a long way in helping your child to grow and learn.

Why are you doing something

The first step to determine whether or not your child should quit doing something is to determine why they’re doing it in the first place. Very often, sports or extracurricular activities fall into this area of needing to be looked at. Is your child doing this activity because they want to? Are they doing it because of their parental expectations (doing it for you)? Or because they don’t want to let someone else down?

Whatever the case may be, if the answer is not that they’re doing it for themselves and the activity isn’t one that they absolutely need later in life (learning in schools vs sports), then it probably makes sense to let the child stop doing the activity. Forcing a child to do things that they don’t need to will simply lead to resentment in your child, and they’ll want to do the activity even less. Don’t force your child to do things they don’t need to.

As a parent, this is extremely difficult to do. You have expectations and desires for your child. Sometimes, you really need to step back and examine yourself. Are you putting unrealistic or unnecessary expectations on your child because you want something for them that they don’t need? Are you forcing something on them that isn’t really necessary? Let your child choose what they want to do within reasonable boundaries.

Figure out how to transition out

If your child is going to give up on an activity that they’ve been engaged in, help them put together a plan of what they’ll be moving toward. For example, simply giving up a sport in order to sit on the couch and play video games all day is not a plan. There needs to be more of a plan in place for them to participate in.

Perhaps there is another activity that they’ll be replacing their current activity with. There may be more responsibilities at home that they need to complete. Or they may be moving towards getting a job or something else. Help your child move into productive activities that will help to learn and grow further. Giving up doesn’t mean you do nothing. It means you’re giving up some activity for something else that you want.

Don’t regret, just learn

Don’t regret the decision that your child makes, and don’t hang it over their head if things don’t go as planned. Making mistakes is part of life. If your child ends up regretting their decision, work through with them where their logic was incorrect before and help them to learn from the experience. Your child may be able to move back into what they gave up, but they may also not be able to.

Learning from decisions is how we become better humans. No one is perfect, and everyone will make decisions that they regret later. Learn from these mistakes so that you can make a better decision next time. Help keep your child’s self-esteem high and find other activities that they can enjoy.

Conclusion

Giving up is sometimes the best decision. Help your kids to recognize when it’s okay to give up on something and to move into other more beneficial activities.