Talking Around Kids

We have discussed how well kids hear things in the past. They always seem to be listening no matter what, so be careful what you are saying around them. As parents, we develop different strategies for trying to say things to each other that our child will not understand, but we will understand. For example, many parents start to spell things instead of saying them in order to avoid meltdowns.

This is just one strategy of talking around kids. At some point, kids learn to spell and this strategy no longer works. While it’s exciting that your child is getting smarter, and understands how to spell words out, it’s also a bit upsetting as you can no longer say things or ask about things that you used to before. You now either say the word, or else come up with different ways to say what you want.

Perhaps the best option is to simply use the words and deal with the consequences. Asking your partner if they want ice cream, and they say they don’t may lead to a meltdown with your child. However, your child should learn that they don’t get everything they want. Learning to deal with these types of meltdowns, and teaching kids that there are times where discussion doesn’t always lead to getting something.

On the other hand, it’s sometimes simply not fun to deal with those types of meltdowns. As such, you may come up with several ways to try to talk around your child by coming up with your own phrases that they don’t understand. This allows you to extend your discussion with your partner without your child knowing what you’re talking about. Sometimes you have to be clever with your discussions.

As an example, our kids will pounce at the opportunity to go to McDonalds. We rarely eat fast food, and the happy meals that they have seem to be addicting. However, if I want to recommend to my wife that we go there, I don’t say McDonalds as my kids will beg to go. Instead, I may ask if we should go to the farm for dinner. The farm means McDonald’s, but our kids don’t recognize that.

You can come up with any type of words that you want for things that your kids love to do. Rather than spelling out the word park, you could talk about the outdoor fitness arena. Instead of asking about dessert, you could ask about the post-meal wash down. Coming up with clever or unique names can be a lot of fun to discuss things you normally couldn’t in front of your kids otherwise.

One word of caution - don’t make up silly or weird names for private parts or more serious matters. Kids need to know the actual words of these things, and if they start to understand your workaround terms, you simply never know if they’ll start to use the same terms. In relation to private parts, it’s always better to use the actual terms. If you don’t want your kids to hear you talk about these things, then do so in private.

Talking around kids can be fun, but make sure you’re doing so responsibly. At some point your kids will learn your lingo, but have fun until they do.