You’re the Parent Now

When you are preparing to have your first child, and the first few weeks after you have your child, you are going to receive a lot of advice about what you should do. You will hear a lot of different ideas on how to best raise your child or how to make it through the first few weeks. Since you have never parented before, you may think that you need to do everything you are told. Unfortunately, it is not that easy.

You’re going to hear advice that goes against what you believe - you may be told that you have to circumcise your child or that you don’t. You’re going to hear suggestions on how you should correctly breastfeed, and then you’ll hear the exact opposite advice from someone else. One nurse will tell you one thing and another nurse will tell you the exact opposite of that - you can’t do it all.

You’re the parent now. You are going to have to make the decision that you believe is the best for your child. You are going to have to struggle through some of the wrong decisions that you make, and you’ll learn over time how to best take care of and raise your child. Unfortunately, there’s no manual that comes with your child. You’re going to have to learn how to best raise them by trying to follow the best advice.

Just because the advice you’re receiving from others conflicts, that doesn’t mean you should ignore all of it. You need to try your best to make the right decision. If your child is struggling to breastfeed, do you stop trying? Do you keep going? Do you change how you hold your baby? Do you do something else? That’s going to depend on so many variables - you have to step back and consider each decision carefully.

You shouldn’t be trying to cater to anyone’s needs either. Other than the health and safety of you and your child, you’re not obligated to do what others tell you. That doesn’t mean you should ignore everyone’s advice, but if your parents are telling you something that you fundamentally disagree with, you don’t have to do what they say. You need to make the decision that you feel is right.

For some, this is easier than others. They don’t have strong-willed parents or family close by that is trying to convince them of the right way to do things. It’s important to remember a couple of things when it comes to your family: first, your child is unique and your current situation may change what you’d do otherwise. Second, times have changed from when your parents raised you and so the decision you make may be more informed.

You’re the parent to your child. Not your parents, not your siblings, and not your in-laws. You may upset them with the decisions that you make, but if you truly believe in what you’re doing for your child then they will simply have to deal with your decision. You are looking out for the well-being of your family, and that’s truly what is most important. Don’t let others make the decisions for you just because you don’t want to upset them.

Becoming a new parent can be overwhelming and stressful. You don’t have to do everything that people tell you to do. Listen to the advice of others and then make the best informed decision that you can.