Tell the Truth

Kids will happily follow the negative example that you set. If you tell them something that is not true, they’ll gladly follow your example and do the same thing. Learning to lie is very simple to do - it is something that many people do, even when it seems innocent. Tell the truth every chance you have, and if you don’t tell the truth then make sure to make an example of why it was a mistake.

Telling the truth starts with you. If you are wondering why your child lies about everything, you need to first look at when and how you’ve lied. If you are caught lying or you make it a point to tell your children that you’re lying, they’re going to do the same. Even simple white lies are going to be things that affect your children. For example, saying that you’re not around or available when you in fact are will have a strong impression on your kids.

Learn to speak your mind in the best way possible. While you may offend someone with the truth, it is far better than lying about it. For example, if you don’t want to go somewhere because you don’t enjoy it, don’t say that you’re busy doing something else. Rather simply state that you’d prefer not to go and that you’d rather stay home. If the other person is offended, then so be it, but at least you’ve told the truth.

Similarly, you need to learn to accept hard truths - sometimes you’ll hear things that you don’t want to hear. If you invite someone over, you may hear that they don’t want to come over. Rather than getting upset, tell them that you understand and that you hope that they’ll be able to make it in the future. Learning to hear the hard truths is equally important in learning to tell the truth. All too often, we are more worried about hurting someone else’s feelings rather than being honest with those around us. This is a dangerous path to follow.

Kids aren’t often able to understand a lie that isn’t harmful vs one that is harmful. To them, you have not told the truth and you’re getting away with it. They are going to try to replicate this same behavior in their own life, especially if it’s going to keep them out of trouble. Learning to lie is quite easy when your parents are doing it, even if that lying seems innocent to you. Kids don’t know the difference - it’s not the truth and that’s what they see.

Another common reason that your kids will lie is because they don’t want to get in trouble. Perhaps there have been scenarios in the past where they have been severely punished for something that they did, and they don’t want to be punished as such again. They’d rather lie to you then to get in trouble. Being punished, even when you’ve done something wrong, is not really a fun experience.

Dealing with a child who is lying because they’re scared of punishment requires that you work on not getting mad at your child, and that your child sees you admit your own mistakes when you make them. If you are trying to cover up your lies, then your child will do the same as you. You will feel much better about yourself when telling the truth, even if there is a negative consequence for that mistake.

Tell the truth all the time. Don’t conveniently tell the truth when it suits you. Your child is watching and learning from everything that you do. Always tell the truth.